


Nothing Else Matters

by breathingdestiel



Series: tumblr challenges [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 13, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 04:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14489091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingdestiel/pseuds/breathingdestiel
Summary: Dean is deaged and he and Cas talk about their feelings.





	Nothing Else Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.

Dean wakes up with a surprising lack of headache. Probably didn't drink enough, he thinks and reaches for the bottle beside his bed. He finds nothing.

"What?" He murmurs, and forces his eyes open.  There are no bottles anywhere in his room. "Dammit, Sam."

Throwing his legs on one side of the bed, he sits up and rubs his eyes. When his brain gets in gear, Dean realizes that he can't remember how he got back to his room. The last thing he remembers is… his conversation with Billie. When she decided to send him back though he obviously didn't want to. Well, fuck her and her 'You we have work to do.' And fuck Sam for taking his beer away.

An aching pain settles deep in his chest. Why should he carry the burden of saving the world on _his_ shoulders? Didn't he already lose enough? His mom, Crowley…. Cas.

He quickly wipes away a stray tear, not wanting to let himself cry. If he cries, it's real. This way he can pretend, for a while at least, that everything is okay and Cas is alive and his mom is alive and…

A knock on the door interrupts his train of thoughts and he yells out, "Fuck off, Sam."

"Dean, it's me," a familiar voice says and his door open.

With wide Dean stares at Cas who is standing in his doorway. For a second Dean thinks Billie didn't bring him back after all. "Am I dead?"

Cas, or Dean's hallucination or whatever, frowns. "No, Dean. Are you okay? Did the witch's spell start affecting you somehow? I felt you calling out for me…"

Having no idea what Cas is talking about, Dean ignores it in favor of slowly getting up and walking towards him. He puts his hands on Cas's shoulders—solid and real—before dragging them downwards across Cas's trenchcoat. It's new. It fits him well. His reservation crumbles and he throws his arms around Cas, burying his nose in Cas's neck, the smell of him so damn real and familiar.

"You're alive…" he whispers, awestruck, before reluctantly pulling away, "How?"

"Of course I'm alive, why-" Cas cuts himself off as his eyes fall on Dean's cheek. "I think I know what's going on."

Cas makes a move to leave the room, but Dean grabs him, "No, don't go."

"I have to get Sam," Cas explains, but doesn't try to get away. Instead, he fishes his phone out the pocket and shoots a text to Sam.

It takes a couple of minutes for Sam to arrive, during which neither Cas nor Dean speak. Dean is too busy soaking in the sight of Cas to even think of asking for an explanation. And maybe he's slightly afraid of the answer; after all, good things rarely happen to him.

"Cas, is Dean okay?" Sam rushes into the room.

"Sam, I believe Dean was hit by the spell after all," Cas tells him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Dean asks. He doesn't remember any witches. "And since when did you know Cas is back? Why didn't you come get me sooner?"

Sam frowns, but before he could say anything, Cas speaks up, "Sam, he thought I was dead."

"You _were_ dead!" Dean yells out, hating how his voice breaks. "You were _gone_ …"

Cas's eyes widen slightly. "I _was_ dead, but it's been months since I came back. You don't remember that?"

Dean shakes his head. Slowly, he starts piecing things together. "Some witch made me forget things?"

"No, I believe she put a deaging spell on you."

"Deaging spell?" Dean and Sam ask at the same time.

"Yes," Cas says and points at Dean's cheek. "The bruise, _which he refused to let me heal last night_ ," he looks pointedly at Dean, "is gone."

"So, what? She made me a few months younger? Why bother?"

"Hmm, what's the last thing you remember?" Sam asks.

"Billie… when I tried to free those ghosts. I know she sent me back, but I can't remember what happened after."

Sam's face turns into his trademark bitch face. "You mean when you killed yourself?"

"You what?" Cas asks, glaring at him, and yikes Dean is in much trouble.

"That explains it though," Sam says, but Dean can tell he's still pissed. "You died and came back, so right now, you're practically an infant. The spell deaged you to the day you were 'born'."

"Yes, that's probably it," Cas says. "It's a good thing we've taken her spell books. The reverse spell must be in them."

"Yeah, I'll get started and give Rowena a call just in case."

"Rowena is alive?" Dean exclaims. "What else?!" He can't believe so much has happened in only a few months.

Sam and Cas exchange looks. "I'll let Cas brief you in," he says before leaving the room.

"Did something bad happen?" Dean asks, immediately suspicious. "Did Satan's kid destroy the world?" He spits out.

"No," Cas growls. "Jack is good. He saved your mother."

Dean immediately softens. "Mom is alive? Is she here?"

"No, she's staying at Jody's. She had a rough time in the apocalypse world."

"I bet," Dean says, but he can't help grinning. "I can't believe we got her back. I was sure she was dead."

"A lot has happened, but she's one win you got."

"And you," Dean adds. "Getting you back is another win I got."

"I-I guess," Cas says and avoids his eyes.

"You don't think I'm happy I got you back." Dean stares in shock at Cas, angry at himself for obviously not having told Cas how miserable he was without him.

"I know you're happy, but I can't measure with your mother."

"Yeah, you're right. It hurt much more to lose you," Dean raises his voice. "I'm used to living without her, but I can't live without _you_. That's why… I didn't want Billie to send me back."

"What?"

"I don't know how much you know, but I stopped my heart to free the ghosts and I met Billie—who is now Death—and she said she'll send me back, but I didn't want to go."

"Dean, I had no idea you felt that way," Cas says. "I thought I was just useful… tool to you."

"No, of course not. I'm sorry we- I made you feel that way."

"Do you really mean that, Dean?" Cas whispers. "I feel like I'm a fuck up."

"No, you're not. Yeah, you mess up sometimes, but so do I, so does Sam. I can't believe I didn't tell you all this. I told myself if I ever get you back, I'll tell you how much..."

He trails off, suddenly unsure… maybe there was a reason he didn't say anything.

"How much what, Dean?" Cas asks and walks closer, until there's barely any space between them, until Dean is compelled to look into Cas's eyes.

"I love you," he whispers and cups Cas's cheeks. "I love you so much, Cas."

"Dean," Cas whispers back, awed and joyful. "I love you too."

"Yeah?" Dean grins and brings their faces closer. "Can I kiss you?" Cas nods and seals their lips together. Dean's heartbeat grows faster, and he feels himself shake with relief and happiness.

They exchange soft kisses until Dean suggests they lie down. Cas wraps him in his arms and Dean eagerly sinks into him, nuzzling his head in the crook of Cas's neck. He listens carefully as Cas retells everything that happened, some things pissing him off (Ketch is fucking alive?!), but he keeps quiet for most parts.

"I can't believe this is our life. It sounds like a soap opera," he admits when Cas is done. "So, Lucifer is still out there?"

"Yes, unfortunately," Cas sighs and runs a hand through Dean's hair in comfort.

Dean leans into his touch. "I was really hoping you'll get to the part where we kill him for good."

"We'll get there," Cas promises. "You deserve a happy ending."

"As long as you and Sam are with me, nothing else matters."

"Still, it'd be nice to finally kill that fucker."

Dean bursts into laughter, "That's for sure." They've had enough of talking, he decides, so he turns around in Cas's embrace and kisses him deeply. The feeling is so addictive; he doesn’t ever want to stop.

"We don't have to stop," Cas breathes against his lips.

"Are you reading my mind?" Dean huffs, but he's not really angry.

"You were screaming it at me," Cas explains. "You know I wouldn't intrude on your thoughts otherwise."

"I know, Cas. I was just joking," Dean smiles and seeks another kiss.

So engrossed in kissing Cas, he misses the sound of the door opening. "You said they weren't together, Samuel." Rowena's voice makes him jump in surprise and he bites into Cas's bottom lip.

"Shit," he pulls away to see a small trace of blood. "I'm sorry, Cas."

"Dean, it's alright." After healing his lip, Cas smiles, making Dean relax.

He turns to face Rowena and Sam, both of them grinning smugly. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"We did knock," Sam says, "You must have been so lost in each other, so you didn't hear it."

"Shut up," Dean mutters as he feels a flush painting his face red. "Did you find the way to reverse the spell?"

"We did," Rowena says and proceeds to chant a spell in a language that Dean can't place. "It's done."

Dean frowns, "Done? I don't-" and then he blacks out.

* * *

 

He finds Cas and Sam in the kitchen.

"You're awake," Cas notices him first. "Are you well?"

"Yep, but I'm hungry," he says as he plumps himself beside Cas.

"I bought pizza," Sam offers. "So… You remember everything? Your bruise is back, so I'm guessing the spell worked."

"Yeah, I remember. That was real fucked up, but some good things came out of it," he says and smiles at Cas who up to that point looked worried.

"You still want…"

"Of course," Dean says and stuffs his face with pizza while Cas watches him with a half grossed out half fond look.

"Congrats, you two," Sam says. "I'm happy for you." Dean nods gratefully at his brother, while Cas thanks him.

After dinner, Dean and Cas retreat to his—no, _their_ bedroom (and just the thought makes Dean feel incredibly giddy).

"How are you, Dean?" Cas asks him seriously. "This must have been tiring for you."

"Yeah, but I'm just so fucking happy that we, you know," he gestures between them.

"That we confessed our love to each other," Cas deadpans.

"Yeah," Dean breathes out, still kind of in disbelief. "I am so pissed at myself for not having the guts to tell you before."

"You weren't ready," Cas says and pulls him into a hug. "Besides, I didn't tell you either."

"We're here now." He feels pain fading away from his cheek and he murmurs a "Thanks", even though he hates when as wastes his grace on minor injuries. Relaxing into the hug, Dean drags his hands up and down Cas's back. "By the way, I didn't tell, but this new trenchcoat is the best one yet. You look so hot."

"Thank you, Dean."

"Of course, you'd look much better without any clothes."

"Is this your way of saying you want to have sex with me?"

"Yep, is it working?" Dean smirks and breaks the hug to look at Cas's face.

Cas sends him a smoldering gaze that makes Dean all tingly, and leads him to bed. He takes off Dean's clothes until Dean is left in boxers only and in return Dean eagerly helps him strip off the trenchcoat and suit. By the time they're lying in bed, Dean is brimming with anticipation, but much to his disappointment, Cas only cuddles up to him.

"You're tired, Dean. There will be time for sex later."

"Yeah, you're right," Dean admits grudgingly. "Can I be the big spoon?"

For a moment, Cas doesn't answer and Dean thinks maybe he doesn’t understand the reference, but then he turns his back to Dean and lets himself be spooned. Dean rubs his nose against Cas's nape before pressing a kiss on the same spot.

"I know you don't have to sleep, so if you don't wanna spend the whole night like this, it's okay."

"Dean, I wanted to be this close to you for years. I wouldn't miss the opportunity."

Smiling, Dean presses Cas closer to him and lets Cas's steady heartbeat to lull him to sleep.    

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr.](http://breathingdestiel.tumblr.com)


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